Apologies for the radio silence on the blog over the last couple of months but I do have a good excuse.
On Saturday 26 January 2019 we got married!
(26 January was also the thirteenth anniversary of the first time we met in a skanky punk bar in south west London. He took his sweet time to ask!!)
I wanted to blog about the day but to be honest it’s all a bit of a blur and I still can’t really remember much about it. The other day he asked me if I remembered what I’d promised in my vows and I had to confess that I had no idea and neither had he!! We just parroted what the Registrar told us as quickly as possible and downed Prossecco as soon as it was over. You could say I was a touch nervous!
We got married at the Gomersal Park Hotel which is just a few minutes away from our house. We had the ceremony and reception there and we stayed the night before (in the same room – no traditions here!!). I woke up at 4.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep so it was a really long day. My other half went off to do goodness knows what after breakfast and my sister-in-law and I spent forever getting our hair and make up done. It was fun and relaxing though and honestly, at that point I was absolutely fine.
Until I had to go down to the ceremony….
My dad (pictured above) and I had already agreed that he wouldn’t walk me down the aisle. There is a lot about the whole marriage ceremony that I’m not very comfortable with, tied into the patriarchy as it is, so I walked down the aisle with my husband-to-be who met me outside the room where we were getting married. No problems so far.
“Penny Lane” by the Beatles started playing and we were getting ready to walk (I’d already instructed him to walk slowly….) but then I made the mistake of looking up and everyone was staring at me. Even though they were my friends and family I suddenly got so nervous and practically legged it down the aisle dragging my husband-to-be with me. “Penny Lane” is a very short song but there was still a lot to go by the time we got to our destination and a few people who tried to take photos got nothing but a blur….Sorry about that!
Like I said, neither of us can remember anything about the ceremony but we have a certificate to prove that we did it so I guess it happened. We had George Harrison’s “While my Guitar Gently Weeps” as we signed the register and Madonna’s “Crazy for You” at the end (a la “13 Going On 30”)!
We didn’t have a professional photographer so we all clubbed together to get some nice photos taken outside. Luckily it wasn’t too cold (although it was very slippy and the lake stank of sewage – ah the glamour!)
But my sister-in-law and I wore amazing shoes so that’s all that really matters!
Then came the fun part – the reception, for which I had a costume change!
We had vegan and veggie mezze plates followed by vegan and veggie pizzas and chocolate fudge cake, scones jam and cream and these amazing cakes and biscuits (vegan and gluten free).
You may have noticed we had a little Alice in Wonderland theme going on from the cake and biscuits but also my bouquet was made out of playing cards and the boys wore playing card ties and cufflinks!
We decided months ago that we didn’t want an evening do, that I’d have had enough by the end of the lunch and, despite what everyone told us to the contrary, we absolutely did not regret that decision. By 7pm I had had more than enough and was exhausted and aching (although very very happy and grateful) and was in bed in my jammies by 7.30pm (red hot wedding night there folks!!)
Was it the best day of my life?
Honestly, I don’t know. But it was very special, I absolutely don’t regret anything (except maybe running down the aisle) and it was a hell of a lot of fun.
I learned a lot when planning this wedding but the thing I learned most was you have to live your life the way you want to live it and the same goes for your wedding. If you don’t want your dad to give you away, then don’t (and if you do, go for it). If you don’t want to change your name (I’m not) then don’t. If you want to wear two dresses, go for it. No matter what anyone else tells you, this is an important day and you absolutely have to do it according to your own rules, your own choices, your own whims and bugger what anyone else says frankly.